You're Highness
by Here2Say
Summary: Thoughts and feelings of our newly found princess in a chance meeting on those red stairs.


The dresses are so lovely here. On the town with Sophie, there were many stunning gowns and outfits, but these… I've never seen prettier, at least none that I remember. Grand-mama insists on all these dresses. I honestly don't know how I'll ever wear them all. I've grown so accustomed to having nothing; all this at once is making me dizzy.

Tonight is the big ball, where Grand-mama shows me off to the world. Hey, everyone, I'm alive. You all missed one that night. Though I suppose it wasn't actually any of these people. It was in Russia. I can be happy, right? There will be music and dancing. All the best food will be served, and Dimitri and I will… Oh, yeah, Dimitri. He won't be there. Why would he? He'll have his money, and disappear.

I am angry at him. He used me for his con. He made me a fool and … I … No, I won't admit it, even though I want to.

The young lady finished the last of the trim on my gown for this evening. As I look at myself in the mirror I hardly recognize the woman staring back at me. She is so different from anything I've ever seen, and so clean. Shouldn't there be dirt or some sort of smudge on that face. The twist her hair is in is tightly wound placed high atop her head. The only thing tall enough to hide it is the crown. I didn't realize I had enough hair for a style like this. In the mirror she stands tall and proud. This can't really be me, can it? My arms aren't that slender looking. I laugh a little to myself. The sleeves are big enough to hold two circuses. I rub my hands over the golden skirt, feeling the silk fabric. I couldn't actually be wearing something so soft.

"You are beautiful, my lady." The woman smiled at her handiwork, slightly proud. She should be. It's not easy to make a train wreck like me into something like this. "Would you like to show the Empress?" She suggested politely. Sophie clapped excitedly, bouncing in place.

"Oh I'm sure she would, indeed!" I smiled at the two. Grand-mama would like to see it. And I need to thank her for all that she's done for me.

Leaving the two bustling about with further preparations, I head out of the room. My thoughts swirl with everything that has happened for me to get here. Everything from the train, to the boat, the night on the town with Sophie and… and… His face flashes into my mind. The way his hair falls into his face all the time that it's annoying just watching him fix it; that crooked smirk when he thought he'd gotten the better of Pucca, how those gentle brown eyes flashed with excitement when I memorized a new relative perfectly… I kick myself furiously. Oh why can't I just forget him?

I hit the stairs. The soft red carpet quiets my steps as I hear a door shut from above. Feet thud softly against the carpet in a rhythm of someone coming down the stairs. I look up, and that face is there in front of me again. That beautiful face…

 _Dimitri_. My heart jumps seeing him. For a moment I forget, and for a moment I feel so light. A small bit of happiness fills me, but a moment only lasts as such and the lightness rushes away.

He comes down the staircase, a dull skip in his step. That tattered suit he wore when we first met sways a little with his movements. I suppose he'll be getting a new one soon, now that he's rich. I bite my cheek at myself. I did, why can't he? He doesn't even look at me as he comes. Just keeps his eyes on those shoes. Is he just going to walk by?

"Hello, Dimitri." I say it with such spite. But he deserves it. He jumps a little, looking up at me in surprise. I can tell he doesn't recognize me at first but his shock is quickly hidden behind his mask of disinterest.

"Hello" He just stares at me. Why is he empty handed?

"Did you collect your reward?" His jaw ticks slightly before he keeps going smugly.

"My business is complete." He holds his head up high, continuing to walk past as if there was no more to be said. I glance down to the floor after he looks away. What do I even say to him now? What could I? Shouldn't he be saying something to me? From behind I hear an old man chastise Dimitri, stopping him in his tracks. I turn to see a short but gnarled gentleman waving his hand toward me in a submissive manner, but not looking at me, his tone firm.

"Young man, you will bow and address the princess as 'You're Highness." I roll my nose up at the thought for some reason. Why would he call me that? He doesn't have to call me that. I'm not his better. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dimitri's head dip, reminded yet again of his supposed place.

"No, that's not necessary…" I quickly start to correct the old butler, but Dimitri plays along, the kitchen boy in him shining through. He raises his hand. I fall silent, watching him.

"Please." My heart skips a little. Don't say it. " _You're Highness."_ He bends at the waist, his hair falling forward. When he stands straight and tall… he doesn't even seem the same. His eyes look so lost… distant. "I'm glad you found what you were looking for." His voice is cold with the words.

Don't call me that. Don't call me 'You're Highness' so formally and emotionless, as if we'd never known each other.

I love you. I want to say it. Why didn't you, before we got into this fix? So much could have been different. Do you _not_ feel the same way? Maybe you don't. Maybe it was just something else I fell for, or imagined. Was that part of your con, too?

"Yes, I'm glad you did, too." I hear myself say it so harshly. Why not? He deserves it, right? In his eyes, a flash of pain glimpses by. I see him shift.

Please, Dimitri, please. Don't go down those steps. Look at me. Stay with me! Don't walk away from me. Please, don't say …

"Well then, goodbye," He's bowing again. Stop, don't do that! When he looks up again, I see my own wish reflected in his eyes. But as soon as it's there it's gone. "You're Highness." He turns before I can reply. The look he gives me is a cold one, but, is there... Is there some sadness there, too? He hits the marble floor at such a pace his shoes echo their tapping as he leaves. No, there was nothing for me in his eyes. Does he not even regret what he did? I suppose that ten million rubles would be enough to wipe anyone's shame away. Well, let it comfort him then. If he can hold his head high after all this then so can I. If he doesn't need me, then… Then I don't need him.

Still, I find myself watching his back as he strides toward the front doors, pompous as a peacock. Why do I want him to miss me so? Because my heart screams that I will miss him and as the door shuts behind him removing the last of him from my life I whisper uselessly and helplessly to his memory. Let the door end the chapters with him and begin my story anew with the family I always wanted to find. I sigh deeply to myself… _.the family I always wanted to find_. Then why did it feel like I had lost just that? Balling my fist over my heart I quiet the heaviness and will it to obey. No, I can and will be happy here. This is what I wanted. Let him be all that he has left me as, just another memory to gather the same old dust.

"Goodbye"


End file.
